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The Case
for Equal Marriage
Many same-sex couples wish to marry. They want to do
so for the
same reasons as their opposite-sex
counterparts - to publicly
proclaim
and celebrate
their love and commitment, to protect their
children, to
ensure legal and social recognition and
for a whole host
of other
reasons. These couples
would greatly benefit from being able
to realise
their choice to marry, an intensely personal choice
that is
widely
recognised, at least for heterosexual
couples, as a basic
human right.
Instead of sending a
message that all Australians are to be treated
fairly and equally, regardless of their sexual
orientation, the message
currently being sent by our
federal law is that it is acceptable to
exclude
lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered persons
from a
central social institution and that our
relationships are inferior.
In recent years, most
state and territory governments, have extended to same sex couples many, though not all, of the legal
and economic
rights and responsibilities available
to opposite sex couples. Yet we remain excluded from
the institution of marriage itself, a distinction
that undermines our human dignity, diminishes our
families and
discriminates against us in violation
of our basic right to equal legal treatment.
Providing same sex
couples with the equal right to marry will not harm
religious institutions in any way. Each religion
will still have the right to
choose whether or not
to perform marriages for same-sex couples.
Religions
that wish to perform marriages for same-sex couples
should
also have the freedom to do so.
Some opponents of
equal marriage have suggested that marriage as an
institution would be weakened, even tainted, by our
presence. Such people are, of course, free to hold
whatever views they wish in respect of homosexuality
and the treatment of same sex couples, but
Australian law should not be based upon such
degrading and offensive notions.
No group of
Australians should be systemically excluded from any
legal institution, let alone one as central to our
society as legal marriage. It must be open to all
Australians, regardless of their sexual orientation.
Some day, same-sex
couples in Australia will have the legal right to
marry. That is inevitable. As with every major human
rights advance, from the abolition of slavery to
allowing women to vote, future generations will look
back and wonder how anyone could have opposed such a
basic human right.
Same-sex couples have
and raise children. Allowing these couples to
legally marry affords their children the same
protections and benefits as children raised by
opposite sex parents.
For many Australians,
marriage uniquely conveys the nature and legitimacy
of a committed romantic relationship. Gays and
lesbians should not be denied this form of
expression.
Language does not
merely reflect discriminatory social attitudes and
practices, but is involved in shaping and
perpetuating such attitudes and practices. The
exclusion of same-sex relationships from marriage
and the invention of a different word to describe
our unions represents gays and lesbians, and our
relationships in particular, as deviant and
abnormal, and as less worthy than heterosexual
unions.
Marriage is a part of
Australian life and same-sex couples, in fact all
lesbian, gay and bisexual persons, are constantly
faced with the fact of our exclusion from it. It's
not a pleasant feeling.
Because there is
greater social reluctance to recognise the
legitimacy of same-sex relationships, the benefit of
automatic recognition that marriage confers is
particularly important for lesbian and gay couples.
When a same-sex partner is injured, the last thing
the other partner needs is to have the legitimacy of
the relationship questioned by hospital authorities.
When a child is hurt on a school trip, and the
biological parent is unavailable, the co-parent does
not want to have to convince a schoolteacher that
the relationship is valid.
When a same-sex
partner dies, the surviving partner does not need to
have the grief of loss compounded by having to prove
that he or she is authorised to make the funeral
arrangements. In a married relationship, these
matters are rarely called into question, and the
validity of the relationship can be easily
demonstrated if necessary through production of the
marriage certificate.
Australia is a
country where individuals are afforded the right to
choose their own religion and their own philosophy
of life, the right to choose with whom they will
associate and how they will express themselves, the
right to choose where they will live and what
occupation they will pursue. The government should
respect choices made by individuals and, to the
greatest extent possible, avoid subordinating these
choices to any one conception of the good life. Our
choice to marry should not be denied because we are
not heterosexual.
In Australia, same-sex couples, and all gay, lesbian, bisexual and
transgendered persons for that matter, still suffer
under the weight of stigma and prejudice. While much
progress has been made, we are still often subject to
verbal and physical assaults, many of us still grow
up in isolation and fear and kids who are not
heterosexual still face significantly higher suicide
rates than their heterosexual counterparts. These
attitudes of prejudice are reinforced – and given
State sanction - by discriminatory laws.
The former Prime Minister, John
Howard, once argued that preventing same-sex couples from
marrying was 'a matter of survival of the species'.
Clearly, the ability or desire to have children is
not a prerequisite to marriage. Opposite-sex couples
can get married whether or not they are able or
willing to procreate; same-sex couples are
prohibited from marrying, whether or not they are
raising children. “Companionate” marriages between
elderly heterosexuals past the age of child-bearing
are celebrated and affirmed in our society, not
banned under law.
Civil unions can provide some or all of
the rights and obligations of civil marriage. AME has no
objection to civil unions
as a supplement to marriage, but as long as we are
denied the equal right to marry, alternative regimes
do not fix the discrimination.
Australia would not
be the first to take this step, and it will not be
the last. Same-sex marriage is already a reality in
a growing list of countries including the Netherlands, Belgium,
Norway, Spain, Canada and South Africa.
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