While Elton John's celebrity "wedding" provides glamorous media copy, same-sex couples yearn for simple and ordinary rights afforded to heterosexual couples every day.
Thousands of same-sex couples live in interdependent, supportive and loving relationships throughout Australia. Like many heterosexual couples, they want to feel acknowledged, accepted, and a sense of belonging among their family, friends and community.
They want to celebrate their love for each other. And they feel the human desire to organise one's life with the rights and privileges of knowing your family is socially affirmed and legally secure.
Conservative and religious opponents argue for strict adherence to the Bible and protection of marriage and the family. But they fail to establish how same-sex relationships harm these institutions. If we followed the Bible strictly we would have to ban infertile couples from marrying, or divorcees from re-marrying.
But we allow these unions because they involve love, care and commitment. Through these qualities they enhance their happiness and the happiness of those around them. With one-third of marriages ending in divorce and many people marrying multiple times, it seems marriage is already under threat without any help from same-sex couples.
Of course it's not about saving families as much as opposing homosexuality. A selective application of biblical teaching combined with prejudice is a potent recipe. When John Howard repeated last month that he would not legislate to allow same-sex marriages we know who he was listening to.
Voters in marginal electorates open to Hillsong and the fundamentalist Christian message are a strong scent for politicians sniffing the winds of public opinion. During the 2004 federal election, Christian groups congregated in Canberra for a national forum to ensure marriage remained between a man and a woman. They got what they wanted and same-sex relationships became pawns in the contest to protect voters from the fear of difference.
But outside elections people respond to other feelings besides fear. They understand the human need for companionship, mutual trust and a shared sense of citizenship. Many Australians can see it's not about special rights. It's about a fair go for everyone and equal treatment under the law.
Without relationship recognition, same-sex couples face discrimination when they are unable to transfer superannuation funds; access Medicare benefits and fertility services; organise medical and funeral arrangements; and undertake international adoption. Same-sex couples pay single rates of taxation and experience discrimination in migration and family law. Same-sex couples suffer from a perception that same-sex relationships are invisible and second-class.
But marriage is not a panacea. Within the gay community, some think marriage is a conservative, tired heterosexual institution with deeply religious connotations. Others think if marriage has expanded to include mixed-race and inter-denominational couples, it can include same-sex couples too.
Last year the Victorian Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby surveyed 650 gay and lesbian people on their attitudes to relationship recognition. Ninety-eight per cent supported some form of legal recognition for same-sex relationships. Nearly 75 per cent said they supported marriage as a choice that should be available, while only 45 per cent would choose marriage for themselves.
If the exclusionary and prejudiced amendments to the Commonwealth Marriage Act were changed to allow marriage between any two persons, a federal civil union scheme could also be created. This would allow freedom of choice over a preferred form of relationship recognition. While we wait for federal action, the Victorian Government could learn from Tasmania's relationship register and the ACT's imminent civil union scheme.
Same-sex marriage is now legal in Canada, Spain, Belgium, the Netherlands, and South Africa from next year. Civil unions are legal in more than 20 other countries. The sky has not fallen in any of these places. It will not fall here. Instead, we could have thousands of newly happy couples beneath it. If Australia doesn't do something soon, there will be increasing international conflict and embarrassment when we fail to recognise marriages and unions validly entered into abroad.
There is no difference in the quality of love between a relationship of same-sex partners and opposite-sex partners. Everyone benefits when we recognise and affirm love and commitment wherever they are found. Isn't it time we treated all love with equal respect and equal recognition?
Jonathan Wilkinson is a University of Melbourne law student and a member of the Victorian Gay and Lesbian Rights Lobby.